What is Self love, what contributes to it and how can you learn to find it within yourself?

 

What is Self love, what contributes to it and how can you learn to find it within yourself?

If you were to ask the majority of people who is the most important person in your life how many do you feel would say that they were? This can be a difficult question to answer because many would be fearful of judgement from others and yet if we are not prepared to prioritize our own needs then how can we expect others to do so?

Prioritising our needs does not make us selfish or self indulgent it simply means that we are emphasizing the importance of our future happiness . Feeling self love for yourself requires that we prioritise all aspects of our mental, physical , emotional, sexual and spiritual health, however in doing so it is important to note that there is a huge difference between having a healthy appreciation for yourself and being egocentric or self absorbed.

So what are some ways you can establish self love within yourself?

Appreciate and accept yourself for who you are instead of comparing yourself to others or wishing you were somebody else , you are completely unique and there is nobody else in the world like you so celebrate that.

Discover what your strengths are ,celebrate your successes and focus on them instead of your weaknesses.

Forgive yourself when you make mistakes we are all human and none of us are perfect.

Speak kindly to yourself, replace self criticism with words of love and compassion as if you were speaking to a friend or small child .

Do not be afraid to set healthy boundaries to protect your relationships, safety, heart, time and personal space .

Prioritise self care with a healthy diet ,exercise and lifestyle .

Take time out when needed to rest and recuperate.

Do not be afraid to voice your opinion or ask for what you feel is important to you .

Live authentically and in alignments with what your true values are not what other people's are .

Do not look to others for validation or attention, another person's opinion of you does not define your worth or identity, it is just their opinion.

Never give your power away to others, stand tall, stay strong and embrace your uniqueness!

Contributing factors

Our character and the way we feel about ourselves and the world around us is formed in early childhood. From a very young age we are conditioned to behave in certain ways by our parents or caregivers, babies and young children will instinctively cry to get attention or something they want or need , but from young children as we grow we are taught to respect our elders and particularly authoritative figures such as our teachers and then as we enter adulthood our employers .

Treating others with respect and learning life values is often instilled and of course is very important, but so is understanding that conditioning from our cultural upbringing will have a huge impact on how important we feel our own opinions are and it can be very difficult for us to find the strength to voice them if we have grown up with expectations from others to conform ,which lead to us feeling suppressed and being taught that our feelings and happiness are not a priority.

Bullying at any age is highly destructive as is being surrounded by friends or insecure partners that do not support your hopes or dreams , criticize your decisions or are jealous of your success, particularly if they have their own agendas and feel they will be left behind.

In addition to social and cultural expectations the relationships we form both personally and professionally will have a huge impact on our sense of self, particularly when younger and more impressionable . A lack of respect or care will

inevitably affect how we feel about ourselves, leading to self doubt, Anxiety and Depression. We may feel emotionally or financially dependent or fear losing our home ,children or being alone and so choose to stay in a toxic situation as opposed to the uncertainty of starting again or the unknown.

Social media can be highly destructive as we are obsessed with images of how the perfect body should look which can lead to a sense of us feeling undesirable or shameful. In addition, being bombarded with pictures depicting the dream lives of others, can often lead to unrealistic expectations, even if the reality is in fact very different to what is being portrayed .

How can social media contribute to self esteem issues?

This is an interesting topic which deserves more insight so let's explore this aspect further ...

Whether you love it or hate it social media is here to stay ... It has for many years been an essential tool and it does have it's advantages including providing a way in which we can keep.in touch with loved ones and friends and helping to build businesses .

However there are many aspects of it that can also be very destructive and damaging particularly to our sense of self worth and self esteem, so why is this?

Everyday in some capacity we are bombarded with images of others showcasing what appears at first glance to be picture perfect lives, loved up pictures of couples on sun drenched beaches or families happily engaging in some exotic location. Viewing these images it is only natural that you may feel resentful or envious particularly if you are single or do not have the ability or financial means to share the same lifestyle, but there is often a price to be paid for what is often portrayed to the world versus the true reality of what is often going on behind closed doors, that can sometimes offer a stark contradiction!

We seem to live in a society now that craves attention and validation and social media is the perfect tool in how to attain it. Particularly with the addition of AI and filtering it can be difficult to know what is real , which promotes unrealistic comparisons and idealized beauty standards which are often unattainable leading to feelings of insecurity and body shame issues.

Particularly it seems amongst some women who post overly revealing images in a desperate attempt to gain attention and followers ,validating their sense of self worth on the comments and engagements of complete strangers.

In addition to this cyber bullying and online harassment often by very insecure people who seem to get cheap thrills from belittling others (often to make themselves feel better) creates insecurity and feelings of worthlessness to the receiver fueling this destructive cycle of low self worth.

Social media is a beneficial tool if used correctly, but sadly this is not always the reality.

#selflove #socialmedia #selfconnection #innerconnection #selfcare

#selflove #innerconnection #selfvalidation #innerlove

Elizabeth Lock      Holistic Therapist 
www.yourcuddletherapy.co.uk   heal@yourcuddletherapy.co.ukwww.yourinnerglow.co.uk         heal@yourinnerglow.co.ukwww.yourtantrictouch.co.uk      heal@yourtantrictouch.co.uk