Why is it that so many people can struggle to be themselves?



 Why is it that so many people can struggle to be themselves?

There can often be many reasons why some people can struggle to be who they truly are and here are some of the reasons...
They feel others will judge them or not like who they really are.
They may feel that parts of their character will not be accepted so they may try to hide it or over compensate by acting a certain way when they may actually be feeling very different inside to the outward face they are showing to everyone else .
They don't know who they truly are.
They may have had an upbringing where family and culture has conditioned them to behave and act a certain way despite what their intuition is telling them and it feels uncomfortable to them to think and feel out of their comfort zone.
They may lack self confidence
Judgement from others can be cruel and hurtful and so avoiding expressing our wants, needs and desires by suppressing them can seem like a more attractive option.
There may have been trauma in childhood or adulthood
If we have experienced trauma or emotional pain of any kind it can be easier to put up a wall around ourselves, this is counter productive unfortunately because although it prevents us from getting hurt again it also closes down our heart so it stops us from feeling love and acceptance. As a result of this, negative self talk can lead to self loathing and a lack of self love. If you do not feel love within yourself you will be incapable of loving others.
So how to break this toxic cycle ?
Practice self compassion and showing love and acceptance to yourself, accept yourself for who you are and not for who you feel you should be or who you feel will be more acceptable to others. As I said before you will not be everybody's cup of tea and you shouldn't try to be . Speak kindly to yourself particularly if you make a mistake nobody is perfect, we are human beings made of flesh and blood not robots .
Try not to take constructive criticism personally it can be given in a way to help you grow and improve and is not always intended to be offensive or cause hurt. Finally keeping a journal can be a helpful way to release pent up emotions to help heal within.

Elizabeth Lock      Holistic Therapist 
www.yourcuddletherapy.co.uk   heal@yourcuddletherapy.co.ukwww.yourinnerglow.co.uk         heal@yourinnerglow.co.ukwww.yourtantrictouch.co.uk      heal@yourtantrictouch.co.uk

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