What is intimacy and why are some people so afraid of it?




 What is intimacy and why are some people so afraid of it?

Intimacy for some may mean a physical sexual encounter to give pleasure but for others it can mean something much deeper and profound , such as a meeting of the heart and soul.
There can be numerous reasons why some partners may avoid intimacy and these include:
A fear of being rejected or ridiculed especially if you personally feel the other person is 'out of your league' or too good for you. This can often occur due to low self esteem or a feeling that they will not accept you as you are .
Previous traumatic experiences including sexual assault or abuse of some kind can emotionally and physically close the body down, the person who has suffered the abuse may put up a barrier due to the fear of being hurt again as a protective mechanism . The same reaction will often be triggered in those who have been cheated on in a previous relationship and for the new partner it can be difficult to create a sense of trust in the partner who has been hurt previously .
A fear of losing control of your emotions can cause fear , this can often be witnessed in new relationships where one of the partners may feel they are getting involved too quickly or 'in too deep' without really knowing what the other person's feelings are or what their intentions may be towards them. As a result the affected partner will often panic and either start to gradually withdraw emotionally, sexually and physically or disappear completely causing confusion and upset to the other partner .
Mental health concerns including Anxiety can cause issues due to ever changing emotions within the affected partner who will close down and start to feel overwhelmed easily, if the other partner is not understanding of this the relationship can deteriorate rapidly .
Finally the fear of being controlled or dominated can prove challenging , particularly if one partner is naturally independent and used to doing things their own way. Fear of a change in lifestyle and how they make decisions ,can cause serious problems in the long-term for the partner who may find it too difficult to adjust .

Elizabeth Lock      Holistic Therapist 
www.yourcuddletherapy.co.uk   heal@yourcuddletherapy.co.ukwww.yourinnerglow.co.uk         heal@yourinnerglow.co.ukwww.yourtantrictouch.co.uk      heal@yourtantrictouch.co.uk

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