What are the 8 levels of relatability and how do they affect our connection to the rest of society?

The 8 levels of relatability and how they affect our connection to the rest of society

What is Autonomy? In a counselling role this means as a practitioner encouraging and respecting a client’s decision to govern themselves, to come to their own conclusions and act on their own values through their own personal choices based upon their experiences and learnings in life so far. This can give an interesting insight into human nature and allow us to understand and respect our differences and learn from them.

We will never be the expert in understanding another person’s life because we have never walked a day in anyone else’s shoes apart from our own therefore we can never fully appreciate the life experiences they may have endured. It may sometimes be the case however that we relate all the things that have happened to us personally to other people also meaning that confusion and conflict can arise when we feel they do not see things in the same way that we do .Principle governing factors which have a huge impact on our connection with ourselves and the world but also with understanding others and society as a whole include Culture, Race, Language, Hierarchy, Prejudice, Racism, Orientation and Stereotypes. The interesting fact about this is that although we are all different we all share the same concerns but we may just relate to them and choose to share them in a different way.

Culture: The ideas, customs and social behaviour from a particular cultural group of people can sometimes conflict with our own if we are from a different culture, we may feel that they do not fit what our view is that they should be or it may even be that we have different views from our own culture and what is considered the normal way to think, feel, speak and react so we feel we do not fit in which can then cause other problems particularly with self-esteem and self-acceptance. How well we relate to ourselves throughout life can be heavily impacted by how culture has related to us previously and what we have learned. If we have not been unconditionally loved and accepted by others throughout our lives it can be very difficult for us to love and accept ourselves. It is therefore very important that we are able to understand how our history has impacted who we are today so we are then able to understand and be able to relate to other people’s views and opinions not only from the same culture but also other ones with no judgement or misinterpretation.

Race: It is unfortunate that human nature as a whole can sometimes be intolerant towards other people who may not be from their own race and therefore it is not always possible to appreciate differences including the colour of another person’s skin or religious and culture beliefs or practices. Some people may choose to reject something they do not understand rather than try to educate themselves so they are able to do so. This is when issues of superiority and a lack of awareness in the different races can cause conflict with one feeling they may be deemed more important than another, it may even be that we take an experience from one individual of a certain race and then use that same experience to generalise that everybody else from that particular race are then the same in their beliefs, simply because of this one experience we have had.  This can then be seen as completely unfair by those who are in an awakened state of mind but sadly generally as an entire race this is still an ongoing issue occurring throughout the world.

Language: The use of language can either build someone up or tear somebody down, it is not simply about just what we say. Words, tone and our personal attitude all combine for effect and actually the tone in which we say something has the biggest impact more so then the words we use. How we choose to express ourselves to others will hugely influence if they are then able to react positively to us and if they feel they are able to trust us. Although our culture can have some effect on how we choose to communicate with others ultimately as individuals we do need to take personal responsibility for our words and actions towards others and appreciate how they may be interpreted and the impact they may have on them. Generally the words we use to communicate are the ones that best describe what we are trying to say but this is not always the case and sometimes someone may try to express themselves in a certain way which is then misinterpreted through their use of words, tone or attitude which ultimately then may cause misunderstandings and tension.

Hierarchies: If we consider the relationships we have in our life and how we relate to them this can be an interesting concept. First of all think about someone who you may feel is superior to you and then someone who you may feel is inferior to you. This can be a very arrogant attitude to have towards others as it can give you a false sense of security if you feel in some way you are better then another person. However rather interestingly it can also work the other way by comparing ourselves to someone we feel is better than us in some way we are unconsciously putting ourselves down, therefore both attitudes are very unhealthy.  Some people do have a habit of incorporating a hierarchy structure into their relationships for example if our partner believes our needs are more important than their own and puts us on on a pedestal it can not only be very damaging to their own self-worth but also highly damaging to the relationship and will be a barrier to stop it developing and continuing to grow.

Prejudice: This affects us all in what we consider to be right and wrong. It is important to understand that no two people in the world will ever think exactly the same way due to the various levels of relatability which affect us all in the way we think and feel. Through previous life experiences and the role models we have had, we have been socially conditioned as to what is and what is not acceptable. However, the rules that we choose to live our lives by are actually just an expression of our own prejudices. It is important to understand that just because we may view things in a certain way does not mean that other people will automatically share the same opinion we do and for this reason it is important to respect other people’s views equally to our own and accept our differences.

Racism: How well do you relate to people of a different race? How do you feel about other people’s religious reliefs and practices? Do you respect them equally to your own or do you feel yours is better? If we really look deep within us what is the real truth? Racism is a prejudice against a person or people of a different race or ethnic group but where does this come from, children do not see colour so when is this innocence tainted and by whom? Our lives are hugely influenced not only by our own culture and history but also by prominent figures such as our parents, teachers, friends and colleagues who can have a huge impact on how we feel about others from different ethnic backgrounds. If we have been the victim of racial abuse we are very aware of how raw and painful that can feel but are we then just as aware when we are discriminating against others even if we feel we are not? We all have our own views about what is right and what is wrong but it is important to remember that just because we see things a certain way does not mean that everyone else will share our same opinion. Education and compassion for others is the key to not only accepting our differences but being able to celebrate them.

Orientation: Sexuality is how we choose to identify in our personal relationships and there are many different terms depending on our individual sexual preferences. Although you may feel you have an open approach to orientation in our new modern world if you have been raised in a highly religious family or a culture where anything outside what is considered a straight relationship is not accepted then there may be some kind of underlying prejudice present in some form which has been learned through your upbringing.  It can be particularity difficult for people who may be confused about their sexuality or orientation if they are in a situation such as this constantly living with a fear that they will not be accepted by their culture or family if they express how they really feel can lead them to live a life where they are not being their true self for fear of judgement or repercussions from others who they feel will not approve or understand. Therefore they will continue to act and behave in a certain way for fear of rejection. Tragically this will continue to haunt them until they have the strength to reveal how they really feel to not only their own culture but the people who matter the most to them.

Stereotypes: We are all different not only in our views and opinions and how we relate to the world and others but also in our upbringings. How many of us are guilty for putting labels on others or making judgements even when we do not even know that person.  It may be a picture we see or something we hear about them or something they have written but how is it fair or reasonable to stereotype someone based on our own belief system? Prejudice can come in many different forms and can at times surprise us especially when we are proved wrong. It is therefore an important lesson to learn not to judge others on superficial things such as how they look, dress or do for a job but rather see them as they truly are before forming an opinion. People will be affected by the way they have been brought up and the values they have been taught but to really find out about who someone instead of automatically stereotyping them with our own prejudices and judgements we need to look deeper and beyond so we can form fair and just opinions and where is the best place to do this? It’s actually very simple, take everything else away and just look into what you see and feel in their heart and eyes and that will tell you everything you need to know.

www.yourinnerglow.co.uk       www.yourtantrictouch.co.uk